DIVORCE RECOMMENDATIONS
DIVORCE RECOMMENDATIONS
If you have decided that it is the right time to file for divorce because it is what you want or because you were just served, or even if you are just thinking about filing, here are some general commonly asked questions and recommendations to help the process proceed as smoothly as possible.
How difficult is a divorce?
- Divorce can be a stressful and confusing time, filed with emotion and anxiety. The best thing to do is have patience, follow instructions and communicate with your attorney.
What do I need to be prepared before meeting with an attorney?
- Get organized. As long as there is no emergency bringing you to the lawyers office, gather documents that will be needed to proceed with your case: marriage certificate, deed, tax returns, W2s, paystubs, and bank/investment/retirement records. And if there is a reason for the divorce (adultery, abuse, misbehavior, etc.) provide any information or proof that you have.
What about insurance coverage?
- Make sure you have the provider information for your health, dental, eye, car, home, life and any other insurance you currently have. Know who pays for it, how much it costs, who the beneficiaries are, and if it is through an employer, ask HR what happens if there is a divorce.
Who will have custody of the children?
- Custody and placement and visitation are all different topics relating to children. Each important and each is treated separately. Be sure you find out the differences.
- Think about how you might want to split/share holidays and vacations and what schedule works for your family, taking into account what’s best for the children
I’m so confused!
- It’s not surprising. Most people are. So ask questions! No question is to big or too small. No question is too silly. The only bad questions are those you don’t ask.
Will I win?
- Your attorney cannot properly represent you if they do not have all the information. Be honest, open and responsive to questions from your attorney. And remember your spouse will be presenting his/her side as well at some point; it is always better to share ALL the information with your attorney, the good, the bad and the ugly. While this is an emotional time, work with your attorney to try to set reasonable expectations based on the facts of your case.
What about our bills?
- Know what your monthly bills are, at least estimates, and if you don’t know how much they are at least know what they are. You will need that information when you file for divorce. Getting that information ahead of time will help to complete the court forms more easily and accurately.
What about the terms of the divorce?
- Know your priorities and the results you want and communicate them to your attorney. It is impossible to represent your interests if you do not share this information.
- Your attorney should be able to tell you if your expectations and priorities are realistic and if they are not, to educate you about what you can truly expect.
This is my second (or 3rd) divorce. Will the results be the same?
- Keep in mind that no 2 divorces are the same, even if they are between the same people. Don’t compare to your earlier divorce as your situation has most likely changed since then. You want your attorney to know the current facts so you can get the best advice.
- And don’t compare your situation to your sister, uncle, neighbor or friend. Every divorce result is determined based upon the specific facts of the parties at the time they file.